


You're Making Me Sick, Love

by DevynGreenwood



Category: Marvel, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Loki-centric, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 06:56:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7424542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DevynGreenwood/pseuds/DevynGreenwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki breaks down after finding out Tony has been cheating on him. Written to the song "Love" by the indie band Daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Making Me Sick, Love

Loki lay in bed, fingers entwined with Tony’s. They had decided to have a lazy day due to the pouring rain outside. Loki found the sound oddly soothing and started to drift off. A shrill noise woke him back up - Tony’s text tone.

Tony was lightning-fast as he grabbed his phone and sent a text, smiling as he did so. Loki was naturally curious, so he craned his neck. Tony got on the defensive and set his phone aside, glaring at the lover beside him.

“Why do you have to be so nosy?” Tony said. “It’s not about you. I don’t know why you get so paranoid. The last time I was out of town, you blew up my phone with messages asking me if I was dead. How would I have even responded if I really had been dead?”

Loki frowned and lay back down. “You didn’t tell me where you were going. You just said, vaguely, that you were going out of town. Naturally, I started to worry. And I was afraid that…”

_I can’t forget it, though I’ve tried._

All Loki saw as he trailed off was strawberry blonde hair, pink lipstick, and a slim figure in a fitted white dress. That was what he saw a few months ago when Tony was returning from a public relations gala. From the window, he caught his lover kissing the tall, thin woman. He couldn’t forget the sight no matter how hard he tried to block it out.

“Afraid that I was going to hook up with someone else?” said Tony. “This is about Pepper, isn’t it? I told you I was sorry. She kissed me first and I didn’t know how to say no so I went with it. Didn’t you see me rushing back here to see you??”

_I know you regret it, love. You told me so many times._

‘Yes, but…” Loki trailed off again, though this time it was because something on Tony’s nightstand caught his eye. It was a small, transparent bottle full of pale pink, watery liquid, and it had a spritz bottle top.

Loki saw red. He had been suspecting Tony of cheating for two months now, but he dismissed it as his jealousy getting the best of him. Now, though, he had concrete proof.

“What’s this?” Loki grit out, holding the perfume bottle. “This doesn’t look like the cologne you use.”

“That’s just Dana’s-” Tony started to say, but he was cut off when Loki got up and started to raise his voice.

“Dana’s? You slept with a woman and she left her perfume here, and you left it out like I wouldn’t see it?” Loki snapped. “So I wasn’t ‘paranoid’ at all this month. I can’t believe you, why did you cheat on me?!”

“Loki, it- it’s not want it looks like, I promise,” Tony sputtered.

“It is exactly what it looks like,” Loki said. “I wasn’t good enough for you, so you had to escape from me to someone better? This wouldn’t have hurt so much if you had just confessed. But because you hid it, you’ve lied to me. You’ve had me believing these past few weeks that my suspicions were paranoia, and when I find out they weren’t, you give a half-assed response. And worst, you had me believing that you actually loved me. When I felt like I was nothing, you made me feel like I was everything. But that doesn’t matter now, because you clearly don’t love me.”

“Please, babe, let’s talk this over-” Tony began.

“Don’t call me that!” Loki shouted. “I’m not your ‘babe’. Not anymore.”

As Loki began to gather his things into his green suitcase, Tony’s words became more and more desperate.

“Let’s just talk this through, it’s just a misunderstanding!” Tony claimed. Loki gave a huff and continued to pack away his clothes.

“Don’t think I’m a fool,” Loki said through his teeth. “If anything, you’re the fool here. I’m done. Goodbye, Tony.”

With that, Loki zipped up his suitcase and rolled it behind him as he left the tower. His thoughts made his head swim with jealousy and anger. He had once been told that anger is a secondary emotion. He figured that his anger was from the primary feeling of hurt. Good memories, now bittersweet, weren’t enough to cancel out the bad ones that popped up in his mind. He disguised himself as an average-looking man in a business suit so the suitcase wouldn’t stand out much.

_I can’t erase it from my mind. I just replay it, love, think of it all of the time._

As Loki tried to hold back tears, the illusion threatened to tear itself open. He willed it to stay up, as he didn’t want anyone to recognize him. He grit his teeth tighter and tighter as he pictured what ‘Dana’ and Tony might have done in secret. He had no idea what she looked like, but his mind pieced together a young woman with brown curls and an envy-inducing hourglass figure. He saw that same figure in Tony’s bed, the both of them undressed and kissing.

_But I don’t want to imagine words you spoke to her that night. Naked bodies look like porcelain. You both knew I’d be bleeding inside._

Loki had already reached the heart of the city when he tried to think of people he could stay with while he processed his emotions. He had been redeemed through a long story, so he was on good standing with the Avengers. Clint still didn’t like him very much, but the archer tolerated him. Steve had his own apartment but preferred to live on his own. It was the same case with Clint. Bruce was on the absolute last of the list because of his Hulk side.

The only person who seemed to be a good choice was Natasha. Loki had grown respect towards the assassin - after all, she had tricked him, a trickster god. Her quick wit and impressive intellect rivaled his own, so he was never bored when talking to her. She had let go of his outburst, but she still didn’t trust him with even a butterknife. Understandably so, he mused.

When Loki reached Natasha’s apartment, he knocked on the door in a series of four quick knocks. The knock pattern was his way of letting her know it was him, so she could brace herself for his usual antics. He dropped the illusion and waited.

Natasha opened the door, short red hair darker than usual with water and a fresh face.

“You caught me on a lazy, makeup-free day,” the assassin said with a wry smile. “Poor you. Come on in, you look drenched from the rain.”

“You look fine without makeup,” Loki said after he was inside. “It’s complicated, but I need somewhere to stay for a few days until I land an apartment and a job.”

“You look like you’ve been crying. And you’re wanting an apartment? Did something happen between you and Tony?”

“Yes,” Loki managed to say, a lump in his throat. “He cheated on me, and I found out by a damn perfume bottle this Dana woman left.”

“I saw that coming,” Natasha sighed, and Loki looked daggers at her. “Sorry, that was probably an insensitive thing to say. I’m sorry that happened between you two. You seemed so happy together… I just can’t believe Tony’s audacity, cheating on you without a single guilty confession. Well, I mean, I can believe it, but it’s still horrible.”

“Have you ever had this happen to you?” Loki asked.

“No. Mostly because I haven’t had many romantic partners,” Natasha answered. “People like to make me out to be flirty, but that’s not what I am, at least when I’m not in a deep relationship. I don’t really have the time and I never did. I don’t even want to get intimate with someone until I’ve formed a deep connection with them.”

“Maybe that’s what I should have been like with him,” Loki sighed. The tears in his eyes finally fell, but he felt a warm arm around him. Natasha had her arm wrapped around him as she sat right beside him.

“Loki, there are so many better people out there,” the assassin said. “There are tons of people better than Tony. You just have to get yourself out there, but later. You’re trying to heal from what just happened, and that comes first.”

“Never would I have thought that you’d be the one to comfort me.”

********************************************************************************************************

A week later, Loki heard his phone going off. He saw Tony’s name and let the call go into voicemail, too hurt to say even one word to the mechanic. It was only several seconds before he received a text.

Tony: [ Loki, I’m sorry. We need to settle this. Meet me at my place as soon as you can. ]

Loki made a sound in between a hiss and a huff. He put his phone on silent mode and waited for Natasha to wake up and start the daily coffee pot. He had been staying at her apartment over the past several days while he searched for a job to get his own place.

Tony: [ Loki, are you there? ]

Sighing, Loki gave in and started typing a message.

Loki: [ What do you want, you skreyja vitskertr? ]

Tony: [ Oh, great, you’re bringing out the Old Norse insults. That’s never good. ]

Loki: [ Answer my question. ]

Tony: [ I wanted to say that I’m sorry and if you’re willing to fix things with me, we can rebuild our relationship. ]

Loki tsked and powered off his phone completely. He heard footsteps and the sound of the coffee maker starting up. The aroma was enough to calm him, though only a little.

“Natasha?” Loki called.

“Yes?”

“Tony wants me to go to his place so we can talk things through.”

“Do not do that. Do I really need to give you boyfriend advice like I’m your 8th grade classmate?”

There was a hard knock on the door, startling Loki to the point that he jumped up.

“Don’t you dare answer it, Loki!” Natasha shouted from the kitchen.

“Are you serious? You and your loud mouth just confirmed to him that I’m here! You’re supposed to be intelligent!”

Loki sighed and braced himself for Tony’s words. With hesitation, he opened the door. Natasha ran to hide in her room, clearly not wanting to be dragged into the drama.

“Let’s just talk this out,” Tony said. “We can make this still work.”

Loki gave a bitter laugh so harsh he surprised himself. With tears in his eyes and his throat thick with hurt, he spoke.

 _“Did she make your heart beat faster than I could?”_ he said. _“Did she give you what you hoped for?”_

Tony blanched. “Loki, don’t get like that. She wasn’t more special to me than you. Why can’t you let go of your goddamned jealousy?”

The tears in Loki’s eyes fell, and more started to course down his face as he thought of Dana’s nights in Tony’s bed.

_Oh, nights of loveless love, I hope it made you feel good. Knowing how much I adored you._

“I will now that I’m letting go of you,” Loki spat.

He closed the door, closing the door on his relationship with Tony as well.


End file.
